2003-06-24 - 9:43 a.m.
Why is it that life gets more complicated as we get older? One would think that with added maturity, wisdom, and character, one could handle MORE, not less.
I went to a wedding of a home town friend this weekend. You know how weird it is when you run into someone in the mall that maybe you haven't seen in a few years, and they have some huge news to share with you: a baby, a doctorate, a police record, and you spend the rest of the day reeling at the news? Well I saw 200 of these morphed friends on Saturday. I got to talk with so many old friends and learn so many new stories.
I feel like I'm doing the same thing that I have always been doing my entire life. I am the same person I have always been. How is it that all of the rest of the world is speeding up and moving to the HOV lane and I'm still coasting here alone in the slow lane? People CHANGE. They get married, have kids, gain weight, pass away, move on.
I watched "Adaptation." with some friends last night.
John Laroche: You know why I like plants?
Susan Orlean: Nuh uh.
John Laroche: Because they're so mutable. Adaptation is a profound process. Means you figure out how to thrive in the world.
Susan Orlean: [pause] Yeah, but it's easier for plants. I mean, they have no memory. They just move on to whatever's next. With a person though, adapting almost shameful. It's like running away.
Is that what I'm afraid of? That moving on will be leaving something else behind? How do you know which will be the better thing? Which risk do you take? The risk of growing up, or the risk of missing out?
I love my life. It's a small life. But it's mine, and I love it. Why should I want to change it? For the sake of change? Do you have to trade security for a new experience?
"Sometimes being free is more important than being happy." ~Tom Robbins, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues.
Listening to: "Under Pressure," performed by David Bowie and Queen.
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