Sept. 10, 2004 - 1:39 p.m.
The Top 10 Things Ree-An Learned in the Big Apple:
* Jamie does not oversell or exaggerate "the best burger in New York."
* You have to put your wheeled suitcase under the turnstile arm before you push through it yourself or else you lose your fare and reap the scorn of the stack of New Yorkers who are standing behind you.
* In addition to being a manufactured (and failed) universal language, Esperanto is also the name of the family who makes the best pizza this side of... well, Italy.
* In New York, if you order "regular" coffee, it comes with cream and 2 sugars.
* Irish immigrants flock to the Big Apple in order to live out the American dream of working in an Irish pub, serving up tall, frosty Irish beers, and listening to cheesy American pop music?
* Pabst Blue Ribbon is considered an "import."
* At Yankee Stadium, men cannot carry bags of any sort, even if they are the exact same size as the bag their female companion is carrying.
* In Coney Island, men wear dresses, women wear facial hair, vomiting mannequins are considered entertainment, and every day is Puerto Rican Day.
* You can take the boy out of politics, but you can't take the politics out of the boy. ("Mother f***er, say that AGAIN!")
* If you're too lazy to commit to a 2-hour movie, it's probably best to watch 12 episodes of Friends instead.
and bonus....
* If you absolutely must change your baby's diaper ON THE TRAIN, it's best just to roll up the dirty one and leave it under your seat, even if you are getting off at the next stop and will promptly pass a trash can as soon as you exit the train.
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